Having a puppy has probably been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm seriously lacking sleep and sometimes it feels like I'm walking around in a dream. I keep telling myself that it will get better but since I'm so tired it's hard to believe. I keep telling myself I can do it, that nobody would have a dog if they didn't get better. But then she cries from 4am-5am and I wonder if I'm lying to myself. I made a commitment to take care of her and I will but I'm just so discouraged.
I'm also angry. I'm angry at media for portraying having a puppy as easy and happy all the time. They never show the accidents, never show the incessant whining, and never show how much work a puppy really is. Every movie and TV show depicts a cute small dog being friends with its owner and doing cute things constantly. Penny does cute things sometimes, between crying and going to the bathroom.
I'm also angry at the dog books I read. They didn't say anything about how long a dog will cry when you first put her in her crate. They didn't talk about being sleep deprived and feeling like a slave in your own house. They didn't give tips on how to keep a puppy quiet or how to still have time for yourself. Maybe I'll write a book about how it really is.
I can do this and I will do this. It will get better. Penny is just a baby and needs my help. It will be okay in the end.