I, like
Nathaniel Hawthorne, have ancestors who have committed atrocities. I
don't know of any who directly killed a Native American, but they
were settlers in the area and time period of the Blackhawk war in
central Utah. The current conditions of tribes forced to live on
reservations breaks my heart. I have often avoided thinking or
learning about what has happened to these people as a result of my
ancestors because it is just too painful to me. The following story
was inspired by Hawthorne's stories dealing with his guilt over his
ancestors actions.
Purchase
My truck rolled
across the dusty two acres that were finally mine.
“Twenty nine
years,” I said to myself thinking of the graveyard shift that I'd
worked at the steel mill for the better part of my life. I left the
reservation when I was eighteen. I had hopes of going to college, but
fell victim to the bottle instead. It was hard to be a dark in a town
where dark meant Mexican and lazy. When I turned things around the
steel mill was the only place that would hire a guy like me. I didn't
mind working nights. It was dark and gave me time to think.
Night work also
gave me time to sell beaded leather at craft fairs on weekends.
During my breaks in the middle of the ebony night each bead was
hand-sewn onto moccasins, bracelets, belts, purses, anything the rich
housewives could find a need for. I can't complain too much, all that
cash went to buy my land.
“Not much,” I
muttered to myself after surveying each direction for the fence, “but
it's mine.” I stopped the old Ford suddenly to avoid a rock in the
middle of my path.
“Well, she needs
work, but that's to be expected,” I said as I got out of the truck
to roll the rock to the side. As I bent down to move the stone, my
beaded belt unexpectedly popped loose and flew under a giant, gray
sagebrush.
“Aw shucks,
that's never happened,” I murmured as I went to retrieve it.
Stooping down, a small sliver of bumpy crimson caught my eye. Right
next to my beaded belt, there were more beads.
“I'll be,” I
whispered with spiritual awe as I stood up and dusted off the beads.
I held the token in my right hand and lifted it next to the belt in
my left. The leather was brittle and cracked. It was translucent
enough to be buckskin. But nobody used buckskin anymore. Turning it
round and round, I stared at the ancient beauty that I had
discovered. That's when it hit me. The crimson diamond pattern on the
medallion mimicked the sacred pattern of my tribe. No, it didn't
mimic the pattern, it was the original. This was my land all along.
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